"The odds are good, but the goods are odd"
Relationships with others in recovery. Yes, there will be plenty of opportunities to get together with someone else from the rooms, but that ain't a good idea.
I know I personally have co-dependency issues, and prior to coming into recovery I had never been out of a relationship. I had jumped from one failing relationship to the next 'ad infinitum'.
The feelings that arise when I am looking at myself, my past, and my behaviours are difficult to deal with, and I am going to have a difficult and challenging time. I am aware that being in a relationship is a brilliant way to avoid, or fix, this feelings, as well as giving me security and companionship in an otherwise daunting time for me.
So for the time being, I shall be steering clear of any relationship, in the long-term of any relationship from within the rooms...
Great post. In my program (Al-Anon), we suggest a "relationship moratorium" in early recovery. As a matter of fact, we suggest not making any big changes for the first 6-12 months, because we're still trying to find out who we are.
ReplyDeleteI know a lot of people in AA and NA who also attend Al-Anon. We often have a lot of the same relationship issues, that AA and NA just don't work on in the same way.
I wanted to welcome you to my blog. I'm glad to have met your acquaintance. I think it's important to have good company on our journey. I look forward to following yours, as well. Take good care.
'I know I personally have co-dependency issues, and prior to coming into recovery I had never been out of a relationship. I had jumped from one failing relationship to the next 'ad infinitum'.'
ReplyDeletei so appreciate the candor here. and i can relate. :) as Kathy said...'take good care'
and 'easy does it' oh wait, i need to hear that too! ;)
Thanks Kathy, nice to hear from you. Yes, I have heard 12 months - and that seems sensible, even if it is something I am wrestling with!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Todd, thanks. Funnily enough I do need to be reminded to take to easy, to stay in the day even! Good to hear from you.
All the best!
I see the 13th stepping occasionally in AA. I know that it doesn't happen as much in Al-Anon. First, I had to learn how to have a good relationship because I really didn't know how. I think that your idea of making recovery a priority is a good one.
ReplyDeleteThanks Syd, I agree -I don't know what a good relationship is yet. And I don't think I will until I know what being a good person is!
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