I did Step 2 on Sunday. I got offered a job on Monday. (There is a God!)
The day after the world cup ended, which for me couldn't have been more perfect, I get a job!
So the last week has been satisfying busy*! I am now teaching, and next week I will also be hosting 5 students on behalf of my sister.
The downside, is that I havent been to a meeting for a week, and will struggle for the next week too. That said, I will be meeting my sponsor tomorrow, and we will be tackling Step 3.
So happy - if rather busy - days. I know I need to remain grounded, but I am so pleased that for once things are coming together. I can look back over the last couple of weeks, of the progress, and be truly thankfully for what this program and its members have given me.
*In fact rather manic - my first teaching job, there have been hours and hours of lesson planning, and a fair bit of nerves!
Showing posts with label Step 2. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Step 2. Show all posts
Saturday, 17 July 2010
Faith, Hope & Gratitude
Something occurred to me soon after doing Step 2: it is the faith that is the most important part of step 2; at least to me (at least at the moment!)
If I have faith that there is something somewhere that will help me, guide me, and support me, I have something that can both be there for me when times are hard, but also something for me to pin my gratitude to when things are going well.
In a way, it does not matter if there is anything there - moreover that I remember to be grateful when things go well, and that things will get better when they are difficult.
If I have faith that there is something somewhere that will help me, guide me, and support me, I have something that can both be there for me when times are hard, but also something for me to pin my gratitude to when things are going well.
In a way, it does not matter if there is anything there - moreover that I remember to be grateful when things go well, and that things will get better when they are difficult.
Saturday, 10 July 2010
Step 2
Ok, I have finished reading We Agnostics, which was my suggested reading for Step 2, and I had a lot of identification.
I have just re-read what I wrote under 'We Agnostics', and I was amazed at how much there was in common. From my intellectually mocking of organised religion and blind faith, to my faith in reason and what can be empirically deduced. Also, having been open-minded, or had exposure to spiritual/ religious experiences earlier on in life, but having rejected them in later life.
So far, my recovery has been rooted in knowledge and understanding of addiction. I know about relapse cycles, old behaviours, I have had a chance to analyse my feeling and my past. Yet this, so far, hasn't got me very far. I need something extra to help guide me, give me the strength, and instill a sense of purpose. I have come to strongly believe that I will find this through a higher power. It is not something I can switch on, but it is something I can open my heart and mind to.
And I have. So last night, I got on my knees and prayed: as it says in the book "Some of us grow into it more slowly. But He has come to all who have honestly sought Him."
I have just re-read what I wrote under 'We Agnostics', and I was amazed at how much there was in common. From my intellectually mocking of organised religion and blind faith, to my faith in reason and what can be empirically deduced. Also, having been open-minded, or had exposure to spiritual/ religious experiences earlier on in life, but having rejected them in later life.
So far, my recovery has been rooted in knowledge and understanding of addiction. I know about relapse cycles, old behaviours, I have had a chance to analyse my feeling and my past. Yet this, so far, hasn't got me very far. I need something extra to help guide me, give me the strength, and instill a sense of purpose. I have come to strongly believe that I will find this through a higher power. It is not something I can switch on, but it is something I can open my heart and mind to.
And I have. So last night, I got on my knees and prayed: as it says in the book "Some of us grow into it more slowly. But He has come to all who have honestly sought Him."
Thursday, 8 July 2010
We Agnostics
Ok, I am doing Step 2, and I have a query: What about We Fully-Paid-Up-Richard-Dawkins-Brand-of-Atheists?!
How have other people, atheists, got beyond this point? (I think this is where we Brits differ from our American cousins: church attendance in this country is a minority rather than a majority.)
As a child I was very spiritual. My mother was into Buddhism when I was very young, and this is something that has stayed with me, but this is more of a philosophy, a way of life, than religion (i.e. the idea of a god in Buddhism is somewhat irrelevant*). Later in life I grew interested in Hinduism, but in my early 20s I rejected it - along with any other god based rhetoric - and have ever since rejected any notion of god.
So how do I get past this point? As the book says "we found ourselves thinking, when enchanted by a starlit night, "who then made all this?" There was a feeling of awe and wonder, but it was fleeting and soon lost". Well no, not really - I just thinking big-bang, hydrogen, light waves… ('wow, bet he's romantic'!!!)
So how do I get in touch with that lost sense of spirituality I had up till my teens? Haven't got an answer for that, but one thing is for sure - I am willing to try. And as someone once said**, he was asked "what you would like God to be?" He wrote down a lists of things, was then told "you can begin with that!".
So that is what I will be doing - write a list of what this higher power will be to me. My list, my god. I just hope I can rekindle that wonderment of yesteryear…
I would love to hear from anyone who has struggled with the idea of a god, or a higher power, and how you came to move beyond it.
*At least that is my reading of it, I do not profess to be an expert (and indeed I refer to Theravada Buddhism, other strands do have more 'mystic' elements, e.g. the more well-known Tibetan Buddhism)
** Charlie and Joe do an excellent read through and interpretation of the Big Book, it can be found HERE.
How have other people, atheists, got beyond this point? (I think this is where we Brits differ from our American cousins: church attendance in this country is a minority rather than a majority.)
As a child I was very spiritual. My mother was into Buddhism when I was very young, and this is something that has stayed with me, but this is more of a philosophy, a way of life, than religion (i.e. the idea of a god in Buddhism is somewhat irrelevant*). Later in life I grew interested in Hinduism, but in my early 20s I rejected it - along with any other god based rhetoric - and have ever since rejected any notion of god.
So how do I get past this point? As the book says "we found ourselves thinking, when enchanted by a starlit night, "who then made all this?" There was a feeling of awe and wonder, but it was fleeting and soon lost". Well no, not really - I just thinking big-bang, hydrogen, light waves… ('wow, bet he's romantic'!!!)
So how do I get in touch with that lost sense of spirituality I had up till my teens? Haven't got an answer for that, but one thing is for sure - I am willing to try. And as someone once said**, he was asked "what you would like God to be?" He wrote down a lists of things, was then told "you can begin with that!".
So that is what I will be doing - write a list of what this higher power will be to me. My list, my god. I just hope I can rekindle that wonderment of yesteryear…
I would love to hear from anyone who has struggled with the idea of a god, or a higher power, and how you came to move beyond it.
*At least that is my reading of it, I do not profess to be an expert (and indeed I refer to Theravada Buddhism, other strands do have more 'mystic' elements, e.g. the more well-known Tibetan Buddhism)
** Charlie and Joe do an excellent read through and interpretation of the Big Book, it can be found HERE.
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